Angry about having Misophonia

I am so tired of stupid people thinking I can control my Misophonia, I am so tired of people thinking I can just ignore trigger sounds, I am tired of people thinking its not a big deal. Literally, every problem I have ever had in my life comes from having Misophonia. People look at me like I'm a dumb little kid when I explain what it is, I'm a grown woman. Its also frustrating because I know I'm a hypocrite, I know that I eat too. I know that I snore. I am aware that the sounds that bother me are perfectly natural and shouldn't bother me but they do. I hate when people trigger me on purpose thinking its funny. This has been a huge issue in my life. I have spent the last 7 years in my room with my headphones on because I might as well hermit myself because no one can just be respectful. I don't even make a big deal out of it, if I'm at church and someone is chewing gum behind me, I literally cannot stand it. I know that I cant ask them to spit it out, and I know I cant sit here cry and plug my ears, So I get up and leave. Its not that I don't like the gospel, its that I cant stand church sometimes. I make myself go because sometimes it works out and I am able to sit through an entire meeting or class, but I also try to have grace with myself when I need to step out because I know that I am trying the best I possibly can. One of the biggest misunderstandings about Misophonia is that its not ALL chewing sounds that bother me, because everyone chews differently so some chewing really bothers me and some I don't even notice. For instance, I have heard my family chewing for so long that I cant stand any of them chewing. But because I haven't become aware of my roommates chewing, its not a big deal. But Gum is the one trigger that bothers me no matter what, some chew it with their mouth open and they chew it really fast, some people chew it slow with their mouth closed, because they think It wont bother me if its not smacking or something, but the truth is that this is THE WORST KIND. I cannot stand it. And to all of the people who read this and think I'm just a selfish jerk who doesn't want people to enjoy chewing their gum and I'm being so dramatic, the truth of the matter is that most of the things I am writing never come out of my mouth. I never tell anyone to spit out their gum because I know they wont understand and that they don't think it actually affects me that much but it actually does. One time when I was 11 I went to my sisters band recital and there was someone popping their gum behind my head. I didn't understand what I had to do to cope with Misophonia yet so I forced myself to watch the entire recital. When I got out, I ran to the bathroom and ripped my hair out. Because of that experience, I now make myself leave situations that I cant stand because I know I will have an emotional breakdown if I try to ignore it. Through the years people have thought my Misophonia was getting better, Nope, its actually gotten much worst. I have tons of new triggers every year. But, I am better and knowing how to avoid situations where I know I will be triggered. This disorder is complete trash. I am a complete hermit because of it, which is bad for my mental health in general, but to be honest Id rather be a hermit that have to constantly be battling sounds. I am writing this mostly to get my frustrations out of my head but also to let anyone with Misophonia that they aren't alone in these feelings of guilt, confusion, anxiety and anger. I will write more about my Misophonia journey on here because I need too. 

Low Waste: Drab or Fab?

You have most likely seen a post about how ugly low waist bottoms are, see for some odd reason, these past couple of years people have just all had a mutual hatred for the crime of low waist anythings. Either you have a true reason for not liking them, or you have seen other peoples reasons and not given it any thought and agreed.

What if I told you, low waists can be cute?

Please do not think I am referring to the low waist jeans thirteen year old girls wore two decades ago, but rather think, something that sits right on the hips or a little under?  Don't get me wrong, I love my high waist mom jeans as much as you do, but don't think that because you love one trend, doesn't mean you cannot love another different trend. 

Here are a few tips for wearing low waist pants.

*Try wearing a belt if you aren't used to low waists or a bit uncomfortable. Id reccomend a thick belt instead of a thin one.

*Do not get anything with an extreme low waist, those are not what we want. let it go under your belly button and let it sit right on the hip bone. 

*you may try on a pair and immediately judge yourself, instead try a more expensive pair. just like all clothing, you might have to try on a few options to find the right fit that flatters you. 

*I suggest you wear either a Flowy shirt, a long loose shirt,or a fitted shirt. Do not wear crop tops or T-shirts.

             Here are a few really cute and simple outfit examples.

           

                              Thank you so much for reading!

Sweet 16

I tuned 16 on the 16th of October. I have wanted to be 16 since I was 11 years old, I knew that it would be perfect. I would have a group of good friends, I knew I would be fully confident in myself and I assumed I would probably have a boyfriend. Its funny because none of those things have happened and its not a sad thing for me, I am definitely  happy with my unperfect life. I am happy because I see my growth, I am happy without a boyfriend because I realize boys are not as important as my 11 year old self thought. Here are 16 things I have learned in 16 years (inspired by my favorite celebrity of all time, Taylor swift).

1.Its better to be alone and growing then have friends who are pulling you down.

2. Strengthen your relationship with heavenly father before you even think about a boyfriend.

3. Swearing makes you look stupid.

4. Do not sing in the shower. Mom can hear you.

5. Girls have mustaches too.

6. Post double chin selfies, we all know everyone has one.

7. 

8. If you are doing it for attention, don't do it.

9. talk to old people. They are lonely.

10. Continue to love people you aren't friends with.

11. Some country music is really good.

12. Keep your imagination intact as long as you can. It will protect you.

13. If you are really mad, listen to Taylor swift. If you are sad, listen to Taylor swift. If you are excited, listen to Taylor swift. 

14. foundation makes you look old. Embrace that young skin. No one notices acne.

15.  Pale skin is pretty.

16. Mean people are struggling somewhere.

Creature Report!

The basement is where i live, and unfortunately, the TV dwells down there too. Every day, my little 2 year old sister watches "octonauts" Its a kids cartoon about the ocean and its uh smart but annoying. I hear this song about 20 times a day
"CREATURE REPORT, CREATURE REPORT! *creature report* WERE DONE WITH OUR MISSION, OCTONAUTS AT EASE! UNTIL THE NEXT ADVENTURE!
My little sister knows the entire song and will sing it for you.
well, at least its not Dora.

I'm Going To Horse Camp!

I have been saving up my dollars for some time, I didn't quite know what I was going to buy yet, until Ihad the idea of Horse camp in my head.

I have been to a horse camp before, when I was 7. It wasn't a sleep away camp and I remember basically nothing so I decided to go again, this time to camp Lutherhaven. It is a sleep away camp in the middle of the CDA forest, and i have already paid and i'm so excited to go! i have been doing all of the research I can. I leave on June 30th and come back on July 5th. Its only 16 kids per week so we get lots of time with the Horses and i'm hoping to make some friends. We get to stay in 100 year old cabin bunkhouses. I'm so excited, only 46 more days!!!

Here are some Pictures of the actual place!

Modest shorts CAN be cute

Ok. When you think "modest shorts" you think of the struggle of finding some that aren't tight that dig in your crotch and itch and are really hot and not great. I hate tight denim modest jeans. Ew. Ew. Ew.
Today, I am encouraging you not to lose hope. Here are some modest, but definitely CUTE and COMFORTABLE shorts.

Boom. Easy.

My side of the mountain

I love the Forest. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love sitting in the moss next to a trickling stream and listening to birds and squirrels hustle and bustle about the trees, I live looking up and watching the ancient trees, not to be a tree hugger but I feel as if trees are the most old wise plant I have ever seen
 Somedays I wish my smart mother would let me mindlessly run away to the Forest for a year like in the book "my side of the mountain" if I did I know I would be back within at least 3 days. I love the feeling of the Forest because every form of life seems to whisper to each other, the wind, the trees, the lush green moss and fern, even the smooth stones in the stream.  Oh how I wish I could spend the rest of my life with the woods...

So many of these trees have scars from wildfires, woodpeckers, children with forks, but I think it makes them look so strong...