Angry about having Misophonia

I am so tired of stupid people thinking I can control my Misophonia, I am so tired of people thinking I can just ignore trigger sounds, I am tired of people thinking its not a big deal. Literally, every problem I have ever had in my life comes from having Misophonia. People look at me like I'm a dumb little kid when I explain what it is, I'm a grown woman. Its also frustrating because I know I'm a hypocrite, I know that I eat too. I know that I snore. I am aware that the sounds that bother me are perfectly natural and shouldn't bother me but they do. I hate when people trigger me on purpose thinking its funny. This has been a huge issue in my life. I have spent the last 7 years in my room with my headphones on because I might as well hermit myself because no one can just be respectful. I don't even make a big deal out of it, if I'm at church and someone is chewing gum behind me, I literally cannot stand it. I know that I cant ask them to spit it out, and I know I cant sit here cry and plug my ears, So I get up and leave. Its not that I don't like the gospel, its that I cant stand church sometimes. I make myself go because sometimes it works out and I am able to sit through an entire meeting or class, but I also try to have grace with myself when I need to step out because I know that I am trying the best I possibly can. One of the biggest misunderstandings about Misophonia is that its not ALL chewing sounds that bother me, because everyone chews differently so some chewing really bothers me and some I don't even notice. For instance, I have heard my family chewing for so long that I cant stand any of them chewing. But because I haven't become aware of my roommates chewing, its not a big deal. But Gum is the one trigger that bothers me no matter what, some chew it with their mouth open and they chew it really fast, some people chew it slow with their mouth closed, because they think It wont bother me if its not smacking or something, but the truth is that this is THE WORST KIND. I cannot stand it. And to all of the people who read this and think I'm just a selfish jerk who doesn't want people to enjoy chewing their gum and I'm being so dramatic, the truth of the matter is that most of the things I am writing never come out of my mouth. I never tell anyone to spit out their gum because I know they wont understand and that they don't think it actually affects me that much but it actually does. One time when I was 11 I went to my sisters band recital and there was someone popping their gum behind my head. I didn't understand what I had to do to cope with Misophonia yet so I forced myself to watch the entire recital. When I got out, I ran to the bathroom and ripped my hair out. Because of that experience, I now make myself leave situations that I cant stand because I know I will have an emotional breakdown if I try to ignore it. Through the years people have thought my Misophonia was getting better, Nope, its actually gotten much worst. I have tons of new triggers every year. But, I am better and knowing how to avoid situations where I know I will be triggered. This disorder is complete trash. I am a complete hermit because of it, which is bad for my mental health in general, but to be honest Id rather be a hermit that have to constantly be battling sounds. I am writing this mostly to get my frustrations out of my head but also to let anyone with Misophonia that they aren't alone in these feelings of guilt, confusion, anxiety and anger. I will write more about my Misophonia journey on here because I need too.